Family, Friends, Festivities & The Last Blog Entry of 2011

We hope everyone had a very Merry Christmas! We have thoroughly enjoyed this entire holiday season; not only because we were able to spend it with family (either in person or via Skype), but it is our last as a couple. We've been enjoying what the possibilities are for future holidays as we move to become a family of 3. We have taken everyone's advice: sleep now; read a book; go out to dinner (a lot); go see a movie (or 2); and so on.

We are down to our last several days in NC before journeying out to Cali...there is still tons to finish up before we leave - laundry, packing, other minor logistics, etc. As a matter of fact we just finished installing car seats in each of our vehicles. Check!

Nana (aka Norma, aka Rachel's mom) has been given the run down regarding the LaManna Lodge here in NC...since she will be staying with us for the next couple of months after we come home with the baby. We are excited that she will be holding the fort for us while we're away.

We also have HUGE THANKS to send out to several of the women in Rachel's family who pooled together their time and talent to put together this amazing Baptism Gown for our daughter. It came from an idea that Rachel had several years back; she wanted to turn her wedding dress into a baptism gown for any future children that might come along. After searching for the 'right' pattern and Googling many sites, she finally turned to her family to see if there were any takers for this mission. Luckily, these awesome ladies and their sewing knowledge were able to make it happen. Many, many thanks to Aunt Ellin, Great Nana (Leah), Amy and Norma for taking a pattern and turning it into a family heirloom.  Believe me when I say the photos don't do it justice. Enjoy the photos!

Rachel's Wedding Dress

Great Nana, Amy and Aunt Ellin pressing the fabric

Aunt Ellin sewing skills at work!

Cutting Rachel's Wedding Dress

Measuring up!

Making the cut!

Just about finished!

We have not taken photos of the finished gown, but know that a lot of love (and time) went into making this a very special garment for our daughter on her baptism day.

Wishing each and every one of you a Happy and Blessed New Year!  See you in 2012!!

35/35 and an update

Our birth mother is 35 weeks along and has 35 days remaining -- Thirty-five days!  WOW.

The past several weeks have been nothing but getting ready for Baby Girl LaManna.  Some of which includes (but is not limited to) selecting pediatricians, visiting day care facilities, and finalizing all the logistics for us to head out to California on Jan 1st, 2012.  Because, not only are we preparing for the hopeful arrival of a little one.  We are also planning for an impending one to two week "vacation" after the baby is born.  Because this will be an interstate adoption, we have to stay in the state where the baby is born while all the paperwork and legal stuff clears.  It takes ten days to two-ish weeks.  And of course, this little "vacation" will start, oh I don't know, sometime between Jan 1st and Jan 20th (or perhaps, god forbid, the end of this month).  Because, in case you didn't get the memo....babies can't read calendars.  They can't be bothered with pesky due dates, they come when they are ready.  And sometimes, they decide to start making their grand exit in the middle of the night.

There's nothing left to do really, except wait.  And if there's one thing we've gotten good at during this process, it's waiting.  (And paperworking - is that a word?)  This is a different kind of waiting though, than the waiting that came before we were matched.  That waiting felt theoretical, with no end in sight, and no real idea what would happen before we got to the end.  This waiting feels definite.  One way or another, this baby will be born.  The waiting will end.  We are excited, without a doubt.  But we are nervous.  Anxious about what it will all be like, how it will all happen. Anticipating the actual birth?  With all the many words that are tucked away in my brain, I still don't have the words to describe the anticipation involved in this.

Our lawyer in California contacted us Saturday night to let us know that she was filing paperwork at the hospital where the birth mother plans on delivering.  This is normally 'routine' paperwork letting the hospital know that first and foremost this is an adoption.  She has provided our names and contact info to that hospital so (1) they know who we are and know why we are there, (2) we can get fitted with those high-tech hospital wrist bands once the baby is born.  There is also a section for the birth mother's wishes/wants.  More specifically does she want to hold the baby after birth, or stay on the maternity floor and who she wants in the delivery room during birth...well, our lawyer gave us the surprising (yet, amazing) news that the birth mother would like Rachel to be in the delivery room with her!  We are at a loss for words at how wonderful a gesture this is...and we know that it is also something that could change - depending on how delivery goes; but for right now, we are on Cloud 9 and could not be happier!!

Thank you for your continued support, thoughts and prayers!  Let the countdown begin...

Adoption Fundraiser -- Reminder

** Reminder **

Our t-shirt fundraiser has roughly 90 days left before it gets closed.  Click the link on the main page of our blog and check out the shirts.

A big THANK YOU to those that have already purchased yours....don't forget to send us a photo of you wearing the shirt so we can include it in the baby's book!

We Are Team....

PINK!

Birth mother's ultrasound confirmed (within 95%) that we are having

November -- National Adoption Month

In honor of November being National Adoption Month, we wanted to pass along a couple of stories from the the many different perspectives of adoption.

From an Adoptive Dad's Perspective


From a Birth Mother's Perspective


Feel free to check out the entire blog (link below) as there will be a new story added every day in the month of November.

Portrait of an Adoption


Enjoy!

How to be The Village

We've been so graciously (and continuously) asked by our friends and family "How Can We Help?"

First, know this: we are somewhere in the middle of Waiting Purgatory. Please let me explain something about WP: It sucks in every way. Oh sure, we try to make it sound better than it feels by using phrases like “We’re trusting in God’s plan” and sentiments like that. But we are aching and sometimes getting frustrated and going bonkers when you’re not watching. It’s hard. It feels like an eternity even though you can see that it is not.

Let’s break this down into two categories:

Support Before the Airport

1. Just kind, normal words of encouragement. Not the kind that assume we are one breath away from atheism. Not the kind that attempt to minimize the difficulties and tidy it all up with catchphrases. We don’t actually need for you to fix our wait. We just want you to be our friend and acknowledge that the process is hard and you care about us while we’re hurting. That is GOLD.

** I can assure you, at no point in this journey did we think about kicking Jesus to the curb, but we still get to cry tears and feel our feelings, folks. Jesus did. And I’m pretty sure he went to heaven when he died.

2. Your questions are welcomed! We’re glad to talk about adoption, and we’re thankful you care. I assure you we didn’t enter adoption lightly, so sharing details of this HUGE PIECE OF OUR LIVES is cathartic.

3. When you say you’re praying for us, the birth mother and our baby, and you actually really are, not only does that soothe our troubled souls, but according to Scripture, it activates the heavens. So pray on, dear friends. Pray on. That is always the right thing to say. And please actually do it. We need people to stand in the gap for us when we are too tired and discouraged to keep praying the same words another day.

Support After the Airport 

1.Please do not disappear. If you think the waiting stage is hard for us, it won't even hold the barest candle to what comes after the airport. Not. The. Barest. Candle. We need you after the airport waaay more than we ever needed you before. Call. Email. Check in. Send us funny cards. Keep this behavior up for longer than six days.

2. Come over sometime when our baby is asleep (or not) and sit with us. Our future schedule, as we see it, we are going to be home, home, home, home, home. Good-bye, date nights. Good-bye, GNO’s. Good-bye, spontaneous anything. Good-bye, big public outings. Good-bye, nightlife. So please bring some community to our doorstep. Bring friendship back into our lives. Bring adult conversation and laughter. And bring some beer.  :)

Here’s one last thing: As you watch us struggle, celebrate, cry and flail, we also want you to know that adoption is beautiful. God invited us into something monumental and lovely. We need you during these difficult months of waiting and transitioning, but we also hope you see that we serve a faithful God. And even through the tears and tantrums (of ours), we will be able to look at our child and marvel that God counted us worthy to raise them. We are humbled. We’ve been gifted with a very holy task, and when you help us rise to the occasion, you have an inheritance in their story; your name will be counted in their legacy.

Thank you for being the village. You are so important.

Adoption Rocks!!

One of Rachel's acquaintances (who is also an adoptive mom) recently helped raise adoption awareness through her local radio station:

This clip is from an adoptee's point of view.  I hope our child grows up to be as enthusiastic and gracious about adoption as this young lady is!

Adoption Rocks - Radio Clip 1 

This clip is from Sarah herself...and she does ROCK!  (that's her sweet daughter Payton in the background)  

Adoption Rocks - Radio Clip 2

Appointments, Names and Voting

We previously mentioned that the birth mother would have a doctor's appointment this week and it would include an ultra sound (u/s) that could potentially tell us the sex of the baby. Well, it looks like the birth mother was mistaken and very disappointed to find out that this week's appointment was just a quick blood work, weight check sort of appointment and that in 2 weeks will the be u/s appointment. Whaaaaaaat!!??  You mean we have to wait 2 additional weeks to potentially find out the sex of the baby. Birth mother was really sort of 'cute' when she relayed the information; I think she was more upset about not being able to get the u/s and know the sex more than we were...if that's possible.

Many of you have asked if we have started thinking about names. We have. Neither of us (I don't think) really knew what a daunting task this would be. What if it was too long? Too short? Hard to pronounce? Sound made-up? What about having a you-neek spelling...did we want our kid to always have to correct people on how to say or spell their name? (for example: Sallye - pronounced Sally; so why the extra 'e'?) Can a name be too 'out there'? What about names from literature? Family names? What potential nick names are there? How does it flow with our last name? What about 'trendy' a name, do we like those? What about a name that is considered unisex - Quinn, Dylan, Blake, Logan, Riley? So much to consider.

So, how about taking a gander at our baby name list and casting a vote:

Our Baby Name List

(NOTE: there is no 'submit' button; after voting either close the entire page or surf to a different website)

Thank you for all of your continued prayers for us as well as the birth mother.

Anticipation, The Mayor and 'Just Knowing' (long post ahead)

I (Rachel) have had many occasions to fret over making a good first impression, and many opportunities to work my shy-old-self into a big ball of stress about whether I'd be able to let that "inner me" out to shine, or whether I'd end up staring at the floor, just nodding and smiling unable to come up with any of that elusive "small talk" stuff that seems to come so easily to other people.

I've never in my life been as nervous for something as I was for the phone call to a potential birth mother that is interested in choosing us.  Adam is great in social settings, and will usually get your entire life story in the first five minutes of meeting you, before you even realize what has happened.  (That is why he is affectionately nicknamed ‘The Mayor’) Truth be told though: Adam was just as nervous as I was.

I've been thinking hard ever since the phone conversation, trying to come up with a good parallel event that would allow me to explain to all of you who haven't been matched (yet), or aren't on this adoption journey, exactly what the anticipation felt like (anyone remember those ketchup commercials back in the day?).  I can't.  It's a thing unto itself.  ::cue the Carly Simon tune::

The closest thing I could come up with was going away to US Army basic training.  I moved across the country (Alabama of all places!).  I had picked a career path that was sure going to change my life (it did), and I was so excited to be on this journey to becoming who I am (and being all that I could be).  But I was also pretty terrified.  I knew in the back of my head that this move was momentous.  I knew that for the rest of my life, things would be marked as "before" and "after" this particular point.

That's pretty much how I felt prior to making the phone call to speak with the birth mother that chose us.  Well, like that, and also kinda like I had the flu (stomach or otherwise).

The questions we had were specific regarding things that will or won't occur at the hospital, and what role we will play during that time.  Then there were equally specific questions about what will happen, you know, for the rest of the child's life.  No biggie.  The kid is the size of an eggplant right now, mind you.  But yeah, let's totally sit down and map out exactly how many pictures, letters, visits, and phone calls will occur, and when they'll happen.  In fact, why don't I just get my iPad out, and we can go ahead and get some dates on the calendar.  ::EyeRoll::

In the end--shocking I'm sure to nobody but me--it wasn't nearly as bad as I had anticipated.  In fact, it was great, really.  Turns out, the birth mother felt pretty much the same way about the questions as we did.  She already knew that she didn't yet know exactly what she wanted at the hospital and beyond.  We got the chance to tell her we were open to whatever she wanted, and that we'd work with whatever she was comfortable with.  I felt good about getting that out there, and I think she felt good about hearing it.  We even got a chance to just laugh and talk a little like regular people, as opposed to "birth parents" and "adoptive parents".  It was really nice.

For all the nerves, the worrying, and the panic ahead of time, once we got going it felt quite comfortable, natural, and normal.  The agency tells prospective adoptive couples time and time again, "When you find 'your match', it just feels right."  This truth is further echoed by the many couples who have already adopted and say over and over that they can't explain it, but when they finally met their child's birth parents, they just "knew".  Sitting here days later, I can't explain it either, but I can tell you that it feels like we just "fit together" in a good way.

We have been excited about becoming parents for so long now.  That excitement has become all the more real. And now, after having chatted with the birth mom, the excitement has shifted again.  We are no longer just excited to have "a baby"; we are now even more excited, thrilled, and honored to become parents to this baby.  If his or her birth mother is any sign--and I suspect she is--this baby will undoubtedly be one amazing kid.

If you've made it this far....have a cookie on me!   

 

Match 2.0

I know we haven't posted in a while.  That's because there was really nothing to write about...until now!!

Here is the rundown of recent events:

We've been presented a few times since our failed match in early August, but nothing came of those situations.  Fast forward to last week...2 situations fell in our lap.  And, finally (after some nail biting and sitting on pins and needles) we've been chosen by one of the birth mothers!

Birth mother is located in Sacramento, California and she is due Jan 15th, 2012.  The birth mother said she wants to know the sex of the baby -- so we'll get to know too!  Hopefully at the next ultrasound appointment we'll be able to find out. 

We spoke with the birth mother on Sunday and had a great (lengthy) conversation...it was an amazing feeling when we got off the phone with her. Both of us just looked at each other; we were grinning from ear to ear and both just starting shaking our heads 'yes'!  It was sort of that feeling - when you know, you know - and we hadn't felt that until now.  We are impressed with this birth mother.  Everything just feels right.

Please continue to keep us and the birth mother in your thoughts and prayers!!

Love to all!

Video: “Invisible Mother” by Jeni Steeber

Love this! Watch this short but poignant speech by a birth mom describing her reasons for choosing adoption.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CvkkVTCWNBg&feature=player_embedded

An articulate, courageous reading by Jeni Steeber at the Listen To Your Mother Show in Spokane, WA on her decision to place her daughter for adoption. 39 years old, going through a divorce, and already parenting a six-year-old, she describes her reasons for choosing adoption, and how all were motivated by love.

Adoption Fundraiser Starts Today!

Check it out...and pass the word around your neck of the woods.  Our t-shirt shop will accept orders for the next 6 months only!   

http://www.adoptionbug.com/lamannasadopt/

Get your t-shirt today!!

You can also click the t-shirt fundraiser image on the right-hand side of our main blog page.  

Thank you for your continued prayers and support...love to all.

**Please note that only those items purchased directly from our specific page will credit our fundraiser.

August...what a month!

This month has just flown right by, but at the same time it has dragged on for us.

We've had some crazy weather here, to include a 5.8 earthquake on Aug 23rd and a Category 2 Hurricane (Irene) Aug 27th.  We have no damage from either, luckily we are about 185 miles from the epicenter of the earthquake and just far enough west of the NC coast to only receive high winds (up to 35 mph gusts) and plenty of rain from Hurricane Irene.

Knowing that September marks a year that we've been under the adoption umbrella doesn't make the waiting for another match any easier.  Roughly this time last year we were busy with paperwork, meetings and information sessions.  All of which helped keep us preoccupied from counting the days until we would have our family.  We don't have that luxury (of a distraction) this year.  We're playing the waiting game, again, hoping that a potential birth mother is interested in us.

We're hoping that September brings us some good news and we appreciate you keeping us in your thoughts and prayers.  Love to all!

Couldn't have said it better...

This adoption blog (from Christian Adoption Consultants) was passed onto Rachel from one of her fellow adoption acquaintances:

http://thespiritofadoption.wordpress.com/2011/01/28/saying-yes/

Devastated -- Match Failed

devastated; –verb  

1. to lay waste; render desolate

2. to overwhelm

Things we know:  we aren't the first couple to go through a failed match; we aren't the first couple to experience this heartbreak; we will more than likely go on to successfully adopt a baby.

But our hearts hurt so very very much right now. It is, by far, the worst heartache. We just want the pain to go away. We want the tears to stop. This is so hard.

We returned from our Florida vacation this past Sunday and went to work today as normal.  Came home from work and there it was...the voice mail...the facilitator's voice sounded like something wasn't right.  Without going into a ton of details, suffice it to say that the birth mother and her actions (or lack there of) started putting up some red flags for us and our adoption facilitator as well. We had to make the hard decision of not continuing with this birth mother.

We know as time goes on, it will get easier. But right now? It's still so very very hard.

Anyway, we wanted to let all of you know. We know several of you are emotionally invested and have been waiting for some news. Sorry it wasn't want what you were hoping for. It wasn't what we were hoping for either...

That's why it's called an Estimated Due Date

After a phone call last night with our adoption facilitator in California, we found out that the birth mother's due date that was originally told to us (Dec 3rd) is incorrect.  Apparently, the birth mom didn't remember or calculate correctly from her last period.

The most recent doctor's visit puts the birth mom at 15 weeks (today) with about 177 days to go and the new estimated due date is January 8th, 2012!

This changes things ever so slightly.  And, we know, that this new due date could change as well.  Not to mention the fact that the birth mom could deliver earlier (or even later) than expected.

We are still waiting on finding out the baby's sex.  Hopefully we'll find out at the next doctor's appointment, if the baby cooperates.  Rachel's ‘inner planner’ person is absolutely ecstatic about potentially finding out the sex….especially since we are in the process of putting together the baby’s room and that would make it so much easier (I think).

We have not decided on names, but have tossed around several…more like a thousand, but we don’t seem to be able to agree on any.  LOL!

Please continue to keep all of us in your thoughts and prayers for a healthy pregnancy and delivery.

The Great Divide

When we hear of pregnancy, the reaction is easy- joy.  The questions and comments are commonplace. When are you due? Will you find out the sex of the baby? What names have you picked out?  With adoption there is a lack of understanding that the adoptive parents feel all the same emotions as expectant parents through pregnancy: anxiety, excitement, financial worries etc.  In fact, many don't regard adoptive parents as expectant parents at all.  Sadly, they are looked at in a different light...yes, it's true.

We've received comments like," Oh, well you'll adopt and then get pregnant right away."  This is hurtful because it diminishes the excitement of the adoption by making it sound like it is a means to an end and not a happy and joyous way to become parents.  Other remarks include,"Oh, that child is so lucky to have you. You saved them from a potential horrible situation." Or "How much did your baby cost?"

Again, we're faced with negativity when trying to celebrate the milestone of our pending parenthood. As adoptive parents we are (sort of) trained on how to answer insensitive questions gracefully by reminding people that we will be lucky to have our adopted child.  We educate people by pointing out that the baby didn't cost anything, however the adoption process entails paying agency fees, attorney fees, and travel expenses - just to name a few of the costs.  I have never heard anyone ask a pregnant woman how much she paid in medical bills to have her baby.

I'm pretty sure these people mean well, but it just comes out all wrong.  Why not just offer a congratulatory word?  Definitely feel free to ask us the same questions (for the most part) you would ask a pregnant woman...you might be surprised at our answers and how similar they are.

You’re pregnant…I’m paper pregnant (aka: have a completed home study) and waiting

You’re scared of stretch marks and how you are going to get back to your pre-pregnancy weight…I’m scared of the potential health consequences of not ever sustaining a pregnancy (increased cancer risk, etc.)

You’re worried if breastfeeding will hurt…I’m worried how wallet-friendly formula and bottle feeding will be

You’re researching baby products to find out their safety ratings…I’m researching the effects of drugs and alcohol in case I’m presented with a case where one or both were used during the pregnancy

You’re wondering who the baby will look more like…I’m wondering how the world around me will react if my baby is of another race than me

You’re stressed about your portion of the hospital bill for the birth…I’m stressed about the mountains of legal fees I’m going to have to pay

You’re nesting…I’m dying to nest

You’re becoming a mom through biology…I’m becoming a mom through love

You’re deciding if you should start a college fund now…I’m deciding what items I’ll pay a birth mother for during her pregnancy (clothes, transportation, medical, rent, etc.)

You’re excited and nervous for what the future will hold for your baby…I’m excited and nervous for what the future will hold for my baby

Happy Birthday America!

Independence Day, also known as 4th of July, is the birthday of the United States of America. It is celebrated on July 4th each year in the United States. The Declaration of Independence was adopted by the Continental Congress, starting the 13 colonies on the road to freedom as a sovereign nation. As always, this most American of holidays will be marked by parades, fireworks and backyard barbecues across the country. 

4th of July Fun Facts:

31 - Number of places nationwide with "liberty" in their name
11 - Number of places nationwide with "independence" in their name
50 - The number of U.S. flags that are flown 24 hours a day at the Washington Monument in Washington DC. Other places where American flags are flown continuously include Fort McHenry in Baltimore, Maryland; the United States Marine Corp Memorial (Iwo Jima) in Arlington, Virginia; on the Battle Green in Lexington, Massachusetts; and over the White House in our nation's capitol.

What do the colors of the flag mean?
White signifies purity and innocence; Red, hardiness & valour; and Blue, signifies vigilance, perseverance & justice.

The American's Creed

by William Tyler Page

I believe in the United States of America as a government of the people, by the people, for the people; whose just powers are derived from the consent of the governed, a democracy in a republic, a sovereign Nation of many sovereign States; a perfect union, one and inseparable; established upon those principles of freedom, equality, justice, and humanity for which American patriots sacrificed their lives and fortunes.

I therefore believe it is my duty to my country to love it, to support its Constitution, to obey its laws, to respect its flag, and to defend it against all enemies.

–Written 1917, accepted by the United States House of Representatives on April 3, 1918.

And I'm proud to be an American, where at least I know I'm free.
And I won't forget the men who died, who gave that right to me.
~Lee Greenwood

'Paper' Pregnant and Emotions

In adoption circles, you hear the term paper pregnant.  Rachel thinks it’s quite cute.  In a physical pregnancy everyone around you sees your physical changes and there is no doubt that you are indeed expecting a baby.  However, with an adoption, there are no physical signs to tell the world that you, too, are expecting a baby. 

We've been told (1) that we might experience a range of emotions, similar to those of a physical pregnancy and (2) since we received 'The Call' we are not the same people that we were before that day...our lives have literally changed in this short amount of time already - whether we know it (accept it) or not. 

Pregnancy (because technically, we are pregnant and expecting a baby!) can evoke feelings of euphoria, worry, anxiety, shock, pride, happiness (and various others) all at once or one right after another. These feelings are perfectly normal as we're getting caught up in the excitement of bringing home our baby.  It's natural to worry about the baby's health, adjustment to becoming parents, financial decisions, and what type of parents we'll be, right? 

We need to remember to breathe in, breathe out......it has only been a little over 3 weeks since we've been matched.

WOW, really, only 3 weeks -- feels like a lot longer.  :)
 

Father's Day Thoughts

Father's Day is a time to honor and celebrate the fathers and father figures in your life. Show your father how much you love and appreciate them for being there for you and instilling the values that you have carried on through your life as an adult. No matter what relationship you have had with your father, you will have learned valuable lessons in life.

WHAT IS A DAD?
A dad is someone who wants to catch you before you fall but instead picks you up, brushes you off, and lets you try again.

A dad is someone who wants to keep you from making mistakes but instead lets you find your own way, even though his heart breaks in silence when you get hurt.

A dad is someone who holds you when you cry, scolds you when you break the rules, shines with pride when you succeed, and has faith in you even when you fail...
- Unknown

He is a rescuer, a protector and a mentor. Even if he's not so good at picking up his socks, he's a pro at picking up his big broom and sweeping up our life messes. He's a safety net and a savior, a fixer and a playmate whose rough-housing can be more fun than a puppy. But beyond the heavy lifting and unenviable tasks that dads do - from doling out loans, to moving furniture, to fixing broken pipes, to putting on the snow chains, Dads are teachers. The lessons aren't always appreciated or recognized at the moment of delivery, but they inevitably leave an imprint that reinforces our lives with strength, humor and integrity.

Consider this our way of honoring the fathers in our lives.  Happy Father's Day to you!  Love you all.

Houston, we have a MATCH!

We got a call from our agency - the agency in California - on May 31st.  The call came into our home phone approximately 10:45am (Eastern time) and wouldn't you know it both of us were at work that day (of course we were, it was a 'normal' work day for us).  Occasionally one or both of us check the messages at home throughout the day, especially if either of us is waiting to hear from someone.  On this particular day, neither of us were expecting to get 'THE CALL'. 

After replaying the message a few times and trying not to screech into the phone (or throughout our entire neighborhood) we both were 100% over the moon.  Emotions flooding everywhere!  One of the potential birth moms that was mentioned to us has selected us as the adoptive parents!!  Let me say that again....we were chosen by the birth mom!  Our adoption coordinator (Irene) gave us the preliminary information about this particular birth mother and gave us as much time as we needed to go over everything.  Irene did wish us well in getting some sleep that night (HA!).  So, we discussed the situation and came to the conclusion that, yes, this is a good situation and we accepted.  We called the adoption agency first thing the next morning (June 1st)...well we had to keep in mind that they are 3 hours behind us - so waiting until Noon (Eastern time) was just about the longest morning ever!  Irene said the sweetest words we could ever hear, "Congratulations... you're going to be parents!"  We had to remember to breathe.

Here are the basics:

• Our baby is due late Nov/early Dec - if all goes well and there are no signs of early labor or medically needing to 'take' the baby early (via c-section) for whatever reason
• The sex of the baby is not known at this time; and the decision to find out is up to the birth mother
• Our baby will be born in California
• Both birth parents are involved; they are in agreement with the adoption plan and will sign the release  paperwork after the birth
• This will be an open adoption - terms will be negotiated (and agreed upon) by both the birth parents and adoptive parents in the very near future

At this time, no decisions have been made regarding visits before the baby arrives or who will (or will not) be present at the hospital for the birth; all of us are working through the details - definitely some phone calls, maybe some Skype chats and hopefully a face-to-face before the baby gets here.

Those are the basics as we have them today. And yes - we are as excited as you’d think (possibly even more)!!  That goes without saying. We can’t believe this happened so fast, in the grand scheme of adoption and the lengthy process it can be.  Our heads are spinning and we're trying to let it all sink in...it doesn't seem real yet.

We’ll keep everyone updated on the important stuff as we go along. Adoption is sometimes complicated and/or uncertain, but this seems like a great situation for everyone involved, and the birth parents are as excited as we are. It’s been a crazy few days for sure.

Love and Hugs to all!

Memorial Day Weekend

As Memorial Day approaches, it brings to mind images of parades, picnics, the unofficial start of summer, pool openings, and baseball games. What sometimes can be forgotten is the reason for the holiday: The sacrifices made by U.S. soldiers in times of conflict.

Memorial Day represents one day of national awareness and reverence, honoring those Americans who died while defending our Nation and its values. While we should honor these heroes every day for the profound contribution they have made to securing our Nation's freedom, we should honor them especially on
Memorial Day.

We hope everyone has a safe and happy Memorial Day weekend!

Close, but no cigar

We have had an exciting few days...let me recap for you:

Thursday, May 12th - we get notified from an adoption attorney (we are on their waiting list) that a birth mother just gave birth to a baby girl - 6lbs, 6ozs.  and that the birth mom wasn't planning on making an adoption plan - she was hoping that a family member could take the baby - but has since changed her mind; so the attorney basically told us to 'get our ducks in a row' and wait for further communication.  This particular attorney is located in Jacksonville, FL.

Friday, May 13th - the attorney contacted us about 2pm to let us know that YES, this is a go; it is considered an emergency situation...since the baby is already born.  We scrambled to get all of our information packet, photos, contact info, etc. into an overnight envelope and get it to Fed-Ex for Saturday delivery.

Saturday & Sunday, May 14th - 15th - we waited on pins and needles the ENTIRE weekend.  But we did manage to get some basic logistics worked out that we hadn't thought of prior to this.  We were trying to keep our minds occupied, but secretly all we wanted to know is what the birth mother decided, has she decided?  Finally an update on Sunday!  We received a message that (1) the attorney did receive our packet, (2) that the baby girl is doing beautifully - she is eating, sleeping, pooping, crying; and (3) that the birth mom will be making a decision sometime Monday.  There's that word...sometime...which means more pins and needles.

Monday, May 16th - Wokring today for either of us was pretty much a joke.  I think we must have checked our home messages every half an hour!  It started to get later and later in the afternoon and while we knew it wasn't 100% that we would be chosen, we thought we had a great chance...I mean Jacksonville isn't that far of a drive and this situation met all of our criteria.  Unfortunately, the attorney contacted us with not so good news for us.  The birth mom chose another couple; they were located in FL, so that is what tipped the scales in their favor.  Bummer!  Total disappointment and definitely some sadness to go around.

We appreciate all of your thoughts and prayers.  We know that when one door closes, another one opens...so, now we go back to patiently waiting for the baby that is meant to be ours.

Mother's Day Thoughts

To the mother’s who have babies in heaven, I say a special prayer for you today. May you feel the peace and comfort of God, knowing that through you he has done a great work. You provided for that little one until the exact moment his/her place in glory was ready. A child remains in your heart forever, no matter how short their time here on earth was. Your reunion shall com in His perfect time. Happy Mother’s Day.

For the mother still in waiting, while today is a special struggle for you, I pray that today you feel the awesome comfort that can only come from the Lord above. Today is for you as well, as you already carry the heart of a mother. May your sacrifice and longing be acknowledged, may those around you today lift you up. Happy Mother’s Day to you.

To all of you mother’s who have been blessed with children here on earth. May you always find joy in your role as a mother. Have a wonderful Mother's Day.

Mother's day is about many things. How special moms are for doing what they do; how most of their work is thankless and sometimes goes without ever being noticed. Consider this our way of honoring the mothers in our lives.  Love you all.

Things my mother taught me...

Something cute/funny to post with Mother's Day right around the corner.

My Mother taught me LOGIC..."If you fall off that swing and break your neck, you can't go to the store with me."
 
My Mother taught me MEDICINE..."If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they're going to freeze that way."

My Mother taught me TO THINK AHEAD..."If you don't pass your spelling test, you'll never get a good job!"

My Mother taught me ESP..."Put your sweater on; don't you think that I know when you're cold?"

My Mother taught me TO MEET A CHALLENGE..."What were you thinking?  Answer me when I talk to you...Don't talk back to me!"

My Mother taught me HUMOR..."When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

My Mother taught me how to BECOME AN ADULT..."If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up.

My mother taught me about GENETICS..."You are just like your father!"

My mother taught me about my ROOTS..."Do you think you were born in a barn?"

My mother taught me about the WISDOM of AGE..."When you get to be my age, you will understand."

My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION..."Just wait until your father gets home."

My mother taught me about RECEIVING...You are going to get it when we get home.

And my all time favorite --JUSTICE"one day you will have kids, and I hope they turn out just like YOU..then you'll see what it's like."

Happy Anniversary

4 years ago April 21st was our wedding day.  We lucked out with absolutely gorgeous weather for late-April in Rochester, NY. 

We celebrated by giong to one of favorite places - PF Changs!  Our gift to each other were tickets to see (and be a part of) the LIVE show for WWE Monday Night Raw here in Raleigh (April 25th).  Man, they did not disappoint.  It was Rachel's first live Monday Night Raw experience; but not her first WWE experience.  We had a blast...but we are definitely paying for it; it took a little more effort to roll out of bed this morning and Rachel has a bit of a sore throat.  (But totally worth it!)

No real updates as far as the adoption process, just waiting to hear if our profile has been selected by a birth mother.  Continuously in 'Wait Mode'.

Crazy weather...

First, let me say that we are both fine.  The wicked storm systems (tornadoes included) that passed through NC on Saturday avoided us; we have no damage to our property or anything else. 

Not so lucky were the towns/areas to the South of us...specifically Sanford (closer to Fayetteville) and downtown Raleigh.  Tornadoes actually touched down in those areas and the destruction is overwhelming.  Thoughts and prayers to all those affected.

Right after the tornado warnings, high winds and severe T-storms passed over us, it was sunny and 75 degrees.  It was just like none of that ever happened.  Weird.

Have a great week everybody!

Week filled with thanks!

1.  Adam's adult hockey team made it to the playoffs...Adam scored 2 goals...YAY!

2.  Buffalo Sabres made it into the playoffs...YAY!

3.  A budget was passed and Rachel narrowly avoided an unpaid furlough with her federal government job...YAY!

Here's hoping everyone has a great week!

First Potential Match

Late last week we received notice from our adoption facilitator that they had a birth mother that matched our criteria and that she would be viewing our profile (along with several others) and make a decision soon.  She is due June 4^th.  She lives in CA.  We sat on pins and needles the entire weekend; waiting, wishing, hoping and wondering if we would be selected.

She chose another family.  We’re keeping our hopes high that this means good things to come and that our baby will find us.

Facts about Open Adoption

Some of you have asked about Open Adoption; so here is a link directly from the agency that performed our Home Study.

http://www.adoptionhelp.org/adoption/facts.html


Here is a bit more of an explanation about the types of adoption:

Open: is an adoption with an ongoing relationship between the birthparents and adoptive family. This means that both parties have exchanged identifying information and have contact with each other either through letters, pictures, phone calls, or visits. The extent of communication in an open adoption is up to those involved.

Semi-Open: is one step down from open adoption regarding contact; the birthparents and adoptive parents meet. However, they do not exchange identifying information. There may be ongoing contact between the two parties, but it's typically less often, and it is facilitated through the agency.

Semi-Closed: allows the expectant parents to look through a number of "profiles" of couples that are waiting to adopt. All couples have been studied by Adoption Services, and are approved to legally adopt. The birthparents choose a couple to raise their child, but there is no contact, and no exchange of identifying information between the two parties.  This option is often the choice of birthparents that desire confidentiality.

Closed: offers complete confidentiality. At no time is there any identifying information given to either the birthparents or the adoptive couple about each other. The birthparent allows Adoption Services to pick adoptive parents from their approved, waiting couples, and the baby will be placed with them.

Pack 'N Play Success

A couple of weeks ago Adam noticed that a coupon for Babies 'R Us was about to expire and thought that maybe we should go to the store and take a look...I mean, why let a 20% off coupon go to waste, right?  :)

We've done our research and reviewed several items, thanks to 'Baby Bargains' - that book it worth its weight in gold.  We decided to look at play pens, portable cribs, and pack 'n plays (PNP), or whatever you want to call them.  Luckily, that particular aisle did not have 75 people milling about - as all the other aisles did - so, we felt relieved to be able to take some time and mull over our decision..because we didn't necessarily have to purchase anything.  After much thought, comparing, a little sweating (man, the temp inside that store was HOT) and general nervousness, the PNP we were leaning towards was on sale AND we could use the coupon in conjunction with the sale!  Woohoo!  So, we bought the darn thing. 

Fast forward to this past weekend.  We decide to open the box, inventory the items to make sure we had everything and nothing was broken...while we had everything out of the box, we thought that we could put it together in no time - I mean the manual said, "No tools needed."  How hard could that be, right?  Well....it did take some time, a lot of time to be exact.  There was the removable bassinet; the changing station; the parent organizer (what?), the plugging up of the light/music/vibration machine - which runs from the bottom thru the middle, up the side rail and plugs into the top.  This contraption had everything but the kitchen sink!  LOL! 

So, we've purchased our first baby item AND managed to put it together with no loss of limbs or band-aids needed.  YAY for us!

Attached is a photo (after completing the assembly).

6 months and waiting....

today makes it official; we've been on this adoption journey for exactly 6 months - which, we know, is really not that long in the grand scheme of things.  So, we thought about starting a blog - for several reasons.

1.  to keep all of you informed of our progress; updates
2.  so we can document our journey as we wait for 'The Call'
3.  to communicate with the birth mother; birth family...once we are matched!
4.  various life events we want to share
5.  a place to vent or just get stuff off our chests

Our home study has been completed and our adoption profile has been shown around a few times, but we are still in what Adam and I like to call "Wait Mode".

Wait mode is not for the faint of heart.  There are ups and downs daily.  We've got faith that our baby is out there....waiting for us.