That's why it's called an Estimated Due Date

After a phone call last night with our adoption facilitator in California, we found out that the birth mother's due date that was originally told to us (Dec 3rd) is incorrect.  Apparently, the birth mom didn't remember or calculate correctly from her last period.

The most recent doctor's visit puts the birth mom at 15 weeks (today) with about 177 days to go and the new estimated due date is January 8th, 2012!

This changes things ever so slightly.  And, we know, that this new due date could change as well.  Not to mention the fact that the birth mom could deliver earlier (or even later) than expected.

We are still waiting on finding out the baby's sex.  Hopefully we'll find out at the next doctor's appointment, if the baby cooperates.  Rachel's ‘inner planner’ person is absolutely ecstatic about potentially finding out the sex….especially since we are in the process of putting together the baby’s room and that would make it so much easier (I think).

We have not decided on names, but have tossed around several…more like a thousand, but we don’t seem to be able to agree on any.  LOL!

Please continue to keep all of us in your thoughts and prayers for a healthy pregnancy and delivery.

The Great Divide

When we hear of pregnancy, the reaction is easy- joy.  The questions and comments are commonplace. When are you due? Will you find out the sex of the baby? What names have you picked out?  With adoption there is a lack of understanding that the adoptive parents feel all the same emotions as expectant parents through pregnancy: anxiety, excitement, financial worries etc.  In fact, many don't regard adoptive parents as expectant parents at all.  Sadly, they are looked at in a different light...yes, it's true.

We've received comments like," Oh, well you'll adopt and then get pregnant right away."  This is hurtful because it diminishes the excitement of the adoption by making it sound like it is a means to an end and not a happy and joyous way to become parents.  Other remarks include,"Oh, that child is so lucky to have you. You saved them from a potential horrible situation." Or "How much did your baby cost?"

Again, we're faced with negativity when trying to celebrate the milestone of our pending parenthood. As adoptive parents we are (sort of) trained on how to answer insensitive questions gracefully by reminding people that we will be lucky to have our adopted child.  We educate people by pointing out that the baby didn't cost anything, however the adoption process entails paying agency fees, attorney fees, and travel expenses - just to name a few of the costs.  I have never heard anyone ask a pregnant woman how much she paid in medical bills to have her baby.

I'm pretty sure these people mean well, but it just comes out all wrong.  Why not just offer a congratulatory word?  Definitely feel free to ask us the same questions (for the most part) you would ask a pregnant woman...you might be surprised at our answers and how similar they are.

You’re pregnant…I’m paper pregnant (aka: have a completed home study) and waiting

You’re scared of stretch marks and how you are going to get back to your pre-pregnancy weight…I’m scared of the potential health consequences of not ever sustaining a pregnancy (increased cancer risk, etc.)

You’re worried if breastfeeding will hurt…I’m worried how wallet-friendly formula and bottle feeding will be

You’re researching baby products to find out their safety ratings…I’m researching the effects of drugs and alcohol in case I’m presented with a case where one or both were used during the pregnancy

You’re wondering who the baby will look more like…I’m wondering how the world around me will react if my baby is of another race than me

You’re stressed about your portion of the hospital bill for the birth…I’m stressed about the mountains of legal fees I’m going to have to pay

You’re nesting…I’m dying to nest

You’re becoming a mom through biology…I’m becoming a mom through love

You’re deciding if you should start a college fund now…I’m deciding what items I’ll pay a birth mother for during her pregnancy (clothes, transportation, medical, rent, etc.)

You’re excited and nervous for what the future will hold for your baby…I’m excited and nervous for what the future will hold for my baby

Happy Birthday America!

Independence Day, also known as 4th of July, is the birthday of the United States of America. It is celebrated on July 4th each year in the United States. The Declaration of Independence was adopted by the Continental Congress, starting the 13 colonies on the road to freedom as a sovereign nation. As always, this most American of holidays will be marked by parades, fireworks and backyard barbecues across the country. 

4th of July Fun Facts:

31 - Number of places nationwide with "liberty" in their name
11 - Number of places nationwide with "independence" in their name
50 - The number of U.S. flags that are flown 24 hours a day at the Washington Monument in Washington DC. Other places where American flags are flown continuously include Fort McHenry in Baltimore, Maryland; the United States Marine Corp Memorial (Iwo Jima) in Arlington, Virginia; on the Battle Green in Lexington, Massachusetts; and over the White House in our nation's capitol.

What do the colors of the flag mean?
White signifies purity and innocence; Red, hardiness & valour; and Blue, signifies vigilance, perseverance & justice.

The American's Creed

by William Tyler Page

I believe in the United States of America as a government of the people, by the people, for the people; whose just powers are derived from the consent of the governed, a democracy in a republic, a sovereign Nation of many sovereign States; a perfect union, one and inseparable; established upon those principles of freedom, equality, justice, and humanity for which American patriots sacrificed their lives and fortunes.

I therefore believe it is my duty to my country to love it, to support its Constitution, to obey its laws, to respect its flag, and to defend it against all enemies.

–Written 1917, accepted by the United States House of Representatives on April 3, 1918.

And I'm proud to be an American, where at least I know I'm free.
And I won't forget the men who died, who gave that right to me.
~Lee Greenwood