Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Friday, October 21, 2011
Appointments, Names and Voting
We previously mentioned that the birth mother would have a doctor's appointment this week and it would include an ultra sound (u/s) that could potentially tell us the sex of the baby. Well, it looks like the birth mother was mistaken and very disappointed to find out that this week's appointment was just a quick blood work, weight check sort of appointment and that in 2 weeks will the be u/s appointment. Whaaaaaaat!!?? You mean we have to wait 2 additional weeks to potentially find out the sex of the baby. Birth mother was really sort of 'cute' when she relayed the information; I think she was more upset about not being able to get the u/s and know the sex more than we were...if that's possible.
Many of you have asked if we have started thinking about names. We have. Neither of us (I don't think) really knew what a daunting task this would be. What if it was too long? Too short? Hard to pronounce? Sound made-up? What about having a you-neek spelling...did we want our kid to always have to correct people on how to say or spell their name? (for example: Sallye - pronounced Sally; so why the extra 'e'?) Can a name be too 'out there'? What about names from literature? Family names? What potential nick names are there? How does it flow with our last name? What about 'trendy' a name, do we like those? What about a name that is considered unisex - Quinn, Dylan, Blake, Logan, Riley? So much to consider.
So, how about taking a gander at our baby name list and casting a vote:
Our Baby Name List
(NOTE: there is no 'submit' button; after voting either close the entire page or surf to a different website)
Thank you for all of your continued prayers for us as well as the birth mother.
Many of you have asked if we have started thinking about names. We have. Neither of us (I don't think) really knew what a daunting task this would be. What if it was too long? Too short? Hard to pronounce? Sound made-up? What about having a you-neek spelling...did we want our kid to always have to correct people on how to say or spell their name? (for example: Sallye - pronounced Sally; so why the extra 'e'?) Can a name be too 'out there'? What about names from literature? Family names? What potential nick names are there? How does it flow with our last name? What about 'trendy' a name, do we like those? What about a name that is considered unisex - Quinn, Dylan, Blake, Logan, Riley? So much to consider.
So, how about taking a gander at our baby name list and casting a vote:
Our Baby Name List
(NOTE: there is no 'submit' button; after voting either close the entire page or surf to a different website)
Thank you for all of your continued prayers for us as well as the birth mother.
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Anticipation, The Mayor and 'Just Knowing' (long post ahead)
I (Rachel) have had many occasions to fret over making a good first impression, and many opportunities to work my shy-old-self into a big ball of stress about whether I'd be able to let that "inner me" out to shine, or whether I'd end up staring at the floor, just nodding and smiling unable to come up with any of that elusive "small talk" stuff that seems to come so easily to other people.
I've never in my life been as nervous for something as I was for the phone call to a potential birth mother that is interested in choosing us. Adam is great in social settings, and will usually get your entire life story in the first five minutes of meeting you, before you even realize what has happened. (That is why he is affectionately nicknamed ‘The Mayor’) Truth be told though: Adam was just as nervous as I was.
I've been thinking hard ever since the phone conversation, trying to come up with a good parallel event that would allow me to explain to all of you who haven't been matched (yet), or aren't on this adoption journey, exactly what the anticipation felt like (anyone remember those ketchup commercials back in the day?). I can't. It's a thing unto itself. ::cue the Carly Simon tune::
The closest thing I could come up with was going away to US Army basic training. I moved across the country (Alabama of all places!). I had picked a career path that was sure going to change my life (it did), and I was so excited to be on this journey to becoming who I am (and being all that I could be). But I was also pretty terrified. I knew in the back of my head that this move was momentous. I knew that for the rest of my life, things would be marked as "before" and "after" this particular point.
That's pretty much how I felt prior to making the phone call to speak with the birth mother that chose us. Well, like that, and also kinda like I had the flu (stomach or otherwise).
The questions we had were specific regarding things that will or won't occur at the hospital, and what role we will play during that time. Then there were equally specific questions about what will happen, you know, for the rest of the child's life. No biggie. The kid is the size of an eggplant right now, mind you. But yeah, let's totally sit down and map out exactly how many pictures, letters, visits, and phone calls will occur, and when they'll happen. In fact, why don't I just get my iPad out, and we can go ahead and get some dates on the calendar. ::EyeRoll::
In the end--shocking I'm sure to nobody but me--it wasn't nearly as bad as I had anticipated. In fact, it was great, really. Turns out, the birth mother felt pretty much the same way about the questions as we did. She already knew that she didn't yet know exactly what she wanted at the hospital and beyond. We got the chance to tell her we were open to whatever she wanted, and that we'd work with whatever she was comfortable with. I felt good about getting that out there, and I think she felt good about hearing it. We even got a chance to just laugh and talk a little like regular people, as opposed to "birth parents" and "adoptive parents". It was really nice.
For all the nerves, the worrying, and the panic ahead of time, once we got going it felt quite comfortable, natural, and normal. The agency tells prospective adoptive couples time and time again, "When you find 'your match', it just feels right." This truth is further echoed by the many couples who have already adopted and say over and over that they can't explain it, but when they finally met their child's birth parents, they just "knew". Sitting here days later, I can't explain it either, but I can tell you that it feels like we just "fit together" in a good way.
We have been excited about becoming parents for so long now. That excitement has become all the more real. And now, after having chatted with the birth mom, the excitement has shifted again. We are no longer just excited to have "a baby"; we are now even more excited, thrilled, and honored to become parents to this baby. If his or her birth mother is any sign--and I suspect she is--this baby will undoubtedly be one amazing kid.
If you've made it this far....have a cookie on me!
I've never in my life been as nervous for something as I was for the phone call to a potential birth mother that is interested in choosing us. Adam is great in social settings, and will usually get your entire life story in the first five minutes of meeting you, before you even realize what has happened. (That is why he is affectionately nicknamed ‘The Mayor’) Truth be told though: Adam was just as nervous as I was.
I've been thinking hard ever since the phone conversation, trying to come up with a good parallel event that would allow me to explain to all of you who haven't been matched (yet), or aren't on this adoption journey, exactly what the anticipation felt like (anyone remember those ketchup commercials back in the day?). I can't. It's a thing unto itself. ::cue the Carly Simon tune::
The closest thing I could come up with was going away to US Army basic training. I moved across the country (Alabama of all places!). I had picked a career path that was sure going to change my life (it did), and I was so excited to be on this journey to becoming who I am (and being all that I could be). But I was also pretty terrified. I knew in the back of my head that this move was momentous. I knew that for the rest of my life, things would be marked as "before" and "after" this particular point.
That's pretty much how I felt prior to making the phone call to speak with the birth mother that chose us. Well, like that, and also kinda like I had the flu (stomach or otherwise).
The questions we had were specific regarding things that will or won't occur at the hospital, and what role we will play during that time. Then there were equally specific questions about what will happen, you know, for the rest of the child's life. No biggie. The kid is the size of an eggplant right now, mind you. But yeah, let's totally sit down and map out exactly how many pictures, letters, visits, and phone calls will occur, and when they'll happen. In fact, why don't I just get my iPad out, and we can go ahead and get some dates on the calendar. ::EyeRoll::
In the end--shocking I'm sure to nobody but me--it wasn't nearly as bad as I had anticipated. In fact, it was great, really. Turns out, the birth mother felt pretty much the same way about the questions as we did. She already knew that she didn't yet know exactly what she wanted at the hospital and beyond. We got the chance to tell her we were open to whatever she wanted, and that we'd work with whatever she was comfortable with. I felt good about getting that out there, and I think she felt good about hearing it. We even got a chance to just laugh and talk a little like regular people, as opposed to "birth parents" and "adoptive parents". It was really nice.
For all the nerves, the worrying, and the panic ahead of time, once we got going it felt quite comfortable, natural, and normal. The agency tells prospective adoptive couples time and time again, "When you find 'your match', it just feels right." This truth is further echoed by the many couples who have already adopted and say over and over that they can't explain it, but when they finally met their child's birth parents, they just "knew". Sitting here days later, I can't explain it either, but I can tell you that it feels like we just "fit together" in a good way.
We have been excited about becoming parents for so long now. That excitement has become all the more real. And now, after having chatted with the birth mom, the excitement has shifted again. We are no longer just excited to have "a baby"; we are now even more excited, thrilled, and honored to become parents to this baby. If his or her birth mother is any sign--and I suspect she is--this baby will undoubtedly be one amazing kid.
If you've made it this far....have a cookie on me!
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Match 2.0
I know we haven't posted in a while. That's because there was really nothing to write about...until now!!
Here is the rundown of recent events:
Here is the rundown of recent events:
We've been presented a few times since our failed match in early August, but nothing came of those situations. Fast forward to last week...2 situations fell in our lap. And, finally (after some nail biting and sitting on pins and needles) we've been chosen by one of the birth mothers!
Birth mother is located in Sacramento, California and she is due Jan 15th, 2012. The birth mother said she wants to know the sex of the baby -- so we'll get to know too! Hopefully at the next ultrasound appointment we'll be able to find out.
We spoke with the birth mother on Sunday and had a great (lengthy) conversation...it was an amazing feeling when we got off the phone with her. Both of us just looked at each other; we were grinning from ear to ear and both just starting shaking our heads 'yes'! It was sort of that feeling - when you know, you know - and we hadn't felt that until now. We are impressed with this birth mother. Everything just feels right.
Please continue to keep us and the birth mother in your thoughts and prayers!!
Birth mother is located in Sacramento, California and she is due Jan 15th, 2012. The birth mother said she wants to know the sex of the baby -- so we'll get to know too! Hopefully at the next ultrasound appointment we'll be able to find out.
We spoke with the birth mother on Sunday and had a great (lengthy) conversation...it was an amazing feeling when we got off the phone with her. Both of us just looked at each other; we were grinning from ear to ear and both just starting shaking our heads 'yes'! It was sort of that feeling - when you know, you know - and we hadn't felt that until now. We are impressed with this birth mother. Everything just feels right.
Please continue to keep us and the birth mother in your thoughts and prayers!!
Love to all!
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