'Paper' Pregnant and Emotions

In adoption circles, you hear the term paper pregnant.  Rachel thinks it’s quite cute.  In a physical pregnancy everyone around you sees your physical changes and there is no doubt that you are indeed expecting a baby.  However, with an adoption, there are no physical signs to tell the world that you, too, are expecting a baby. 

We've been told (1) that we might experience a range of emotions, similar to those of a physical pregnancy and (2) since we received 'The Call' we are not the same people that we were before that day...our lives have literally changed in this short amount of time already - whether we know it (accept it) or not. 

Pregnancy (because technically, we are pregnant and expecting a baby!) can evoke feelings of euphoria, worry, anxiety, shock, pride, happiness (and various others) all at once or one right after another. These feelings are perfectly normal as we're getting caught up in the excitement of bringing home our baby.  It's natural to worry about the baby's health, adjustment to becoming parents, financial decisions, and what type of parents we'll be, right? 

We need to remember to breathe in, breathe out......it has only been a little over 3 weeks since we've been matched.

WOW, really, only 3 weeks -- feels like a lot longer.  :)
 

Father's Day Thoughts

Father's Day is a time to honor and celebrate the fathers and father figures in your life. Show your father how much you love and appreciate them for being there for you and instilling the values that you have carried on through your life as an adult. No matter what relationship you have had with your father, you will have learned valuable lessons in life.

WHAT IS A DAD?
A dad is someone who wants to catch you before you fall but instead picks you up, brushes you off, and lets you try again.

A dad is someone who wants to keep you from making mistakes but instead lets you find your own way, even though his heart breaks in silence when you get hurt.

A dad is someone who holds you when you cry, scolds you when you break the rules, shines with pride when you succeed, and has faith in you even when you fail...
- Unknown

He is a rescuer, a protector and a mentor. Even if he's not so good at picking up his socks, he's a pro at picking up his big broom and sweeping up our life messes. He's a safety net and a savior, a fixer and a playmate whose rough-housing can be more fun than a puppy. But beyond the heavy lifting and unenviable tasks that dads do - from doling out loans, to moving furniture, to fixing broken pipes, to putting on the snow chains, Dads are teachers. The lessons aren't always appreciated or recognized at the moment of delivery, but they inevitably leave an imprint that reinforces our lives with strength, humor and integrity.

Consider this our way of honoring the fathers in our lives.  Happy Father's Day to you!  Love you all.

Houston, we have a MATCH!

We got a call from our agency - the agency in California - on May 31st.  The call came into our home phone approximately 10:45am (Eastern time) and wouldn't you know it both of us were at work that day (of course we were, it was a 'normal' work day for us).  Occasionally one or both of us check the messages at home throughout the day, especially if either of us is waiting to hear from someone.  On this particular day, neither of us were expecting to get 'THE CALL'. 

After replaying the message a few times and trying not to screech into the phone (or throughout our entire neighborhood) we both were 100% over the moon.  Emotions flooding everywhere!  One of the potential birth moms that was mentioned to us has selected us as the adoptive parents!!  Let me say that again....we were chosen by the birth mom!  Our adoption coordinator (Irene) gave us the preliminary information about this particular birth mother and gave us as much time as we needed to go over everything.  Irene did wish us well in getting some sleep that night (HA!).  So, we discussed the situation and came to the conclusion that, yes, this is a good situation and we accepted.  We called the adoption agency first thing the next morning (June 1st)...well we had to keep in mind that they are 3 hours behind us - so waiting until Noon (Eastern time) was just about the longest morning ever!  Irene said the sweetest words we could ever hear, "Congratulations... you're going to be parents!"  We had to remember to breathe.

Here are the basics:

• Our baby is due late Nov/early Dec - if all goes well and there are no signs of early labor or medically needing to 'take' the baby early (via c-section) for whatever reason
• The sex of the baby is not known at this time; and the decision to find out is up to the birth mother
• Our baby will be born in California
• Both birth parents are involved; they are in agreement with the adoption plan and will sign the release  paperwork after the birth
• This will be an open adoption - terms will be negotiated (and agreed upon) by both the birth parents and adoptive parents in the very near future

At this time, no decisions have been made regarding visits before the baby arrives or who will (or will not) be present at the hospital for the birth; all of us are working through the details - definitely some phone calls, maybe some Skype chats and hopefully a face-to-face before the baby gets here.

Those are the basics as we have them today. And yes - we are as excited as you’d think (possibly even more)!!  That goes without saying. We can’t believe this happened so fast, in the grand scheme of adoption and the lengthy process it can be.  Our heads are spinning and we're trying to let it all sink in...it doesn't seem real yet.

We’ll keep everyone updated on the important stuff as we go along. Adoption is sometimes complicated and/or uncertain, but this seems like a great situation for everyone involved, and the birth parents are as excited as we are. It’s been a crazy few days for sure.

Love and Hugs to all!

Memorial Day Weekend

As Memorial Day approaches, it brings to mind images of parades, picnics, the unofficial start of summer, pool openings, and baseball games. What sometimes can be forgotten is the reason for the holiday: The sacrifices made by U.S. soldiers in times of conflict.

Memorial Day represents one day of national awareness and reverence, honoring those Americans who died while defending our Nation and its values. While we should honor these heroes every day for the profound contribution they have made to securing our Nation's freedom, we should honor them especially on
Memorial Day.

We hope everyone has a safe and happy Memorial Day weekend!

Close, but no cigar

We have had an exciting few days...let me recap for you:

Thursday, May 12th - we get notified from an adoption attorney (we are on their waiting list) that a birth mother just gave birth to a baby girl - 6lbs, 6ozs.  and that the birth mom wasn't planning on making an adoption plan - she was hoping that a family member could take the baby - but has since changed her mind; so the attorney basically told us to 'get our ducks in a row' and wait for further communication.  This particular attorney is located in Jacksonville, FL.

Friday, May 13th - the attorney contacted us about 2pm to let us know that YES, this is a go; it is considered an emergency situation...since the baby is already born.  We scrambled to get all of our information packet, photos, contact info, etc. into an overnight envelope and get it to Fed-Ex for Saturday delivery.

Saturday & Sunday, May 14th - 15th - we waited on pins and needles the ENTIRE weekend.  But we did manage to get some basic logistics worked out that we hadn't thought of prior to this.  We were trying to keep our minds occupied, but secretly all we wanted to know is what the birth mother decided, has she decided?  Finally an update on Sunday!  We received a message that (1) the attorney did receive our packet, (2) that the baby girl is doing beautifully - she is eating, sleeping, pooping, crying; and (3) that the birth mom will be making a decision sometime Monday.  There's that word...sometime...which means more pins and needles.

Monday, May 16th - Wokring today for either of us was pretty much a joke.  I think we must have checked our home messages every half an hour!  It started to get later and later in the afternoon and while we knew it wasn't 100% that we would be chosen, we thought we had a great chance...I mean Jacksonville isn't that far of a drive and this situation met all of our criteria.  Unfortunately, the attorney contacted us with not so good news for us.  The birth mom chose another couple; they were located in FL, so that is what tipped the scales in their favor.  Bummer!  Total disappointment and definitely some sadness to go around.

We appreciate all of your thoughts and prayers.  We know that when one door closes, another one opens...so, now we go back to patiently waiting for the baby that is meant to be ours.