Happy Father's Day (by Adam)

So it is my first father's day, and with that it has come time for me to post on our blog my thoughts, feelings, etc.  So here it goes...

I have a great father.  I could write a whole blog posting on him and how he helped shape my life and made me the man I am today.  He was strict with me when needed, he was understanding about things, he helped me when I needed help.  He and my mother were both teachers, and they new how important education was.  They both made sure we did well in school, that we got the best teachers, that we went on to college.  And I wanted to have a chance to be like that for my child or my children.  To help shape and mold them but also let them grow.  And I always thought that would happen someday.  But….

I guess it would be an understatement to say I was scared as of a few years ago. Scared for many reasons.

First I was scared for both Rachel and myself when we came to the realization that on our own, we were not going to be able to conceive a child.  Try as we might various things, it just wasn't meant to be.  And I know that both of us wanted to have at least one child if not two.  I think both of us would have been okay if it just ended up the two of us growing old together, but deep down I know we both wanted to have a family, and if the traditional way just was not going to pan out, maybe other things needed to be looked into.

Then I was scared about adoption.  It had been mentioned and discussed before, but I never really considered it because I thought we could do things on our own and be fine.  But when that didn't happen, and you have a wonderful wife who certainly deserves to have a child, and raise that child, and support that child, etc. you suddenly contemplate things you might not have before.  And I was scared of how others might view us (or me), or how our child would be viewed, or how the whole process is now versus years and years ago, and how birthmother interaction works, and how open versus semi-open versus closed adoptions work, etc.  Scared of what family and friends would think.  Scared of a very different unknown.  

Explorations with FOOOOD!

When do you feed babies their first foods? And what foods do you introduce first? These certainly are loaded questions these days. There seems to be so much drama and finger-pointing out there about baby’s first food.

Before Daphne’s arrival, we researched how to best navigate this milestone. We decided on trying the "Baby Led" approach to weaning. Introducing solids to your baby using "table foods" rather than purees is what Baby led Weaning is all about.

Now that Daphne has passed the 5 month mark we’re feeling a bit stressed about the whole first food/feeding thing. At her previous well baby visit, her pediatrician suggested that we start with rice cereal. We definitely didn’t feel as if she was ready. She could barely hold her head up at that point.

Rachel turned to a parenting board with parents (mostly moms) of children born around the same time as Daphne. She thought it would be helpful to hear what others were doing. Bad idea! She couldn’t believe the heated arguments and judgmental posts surrounding this topic.

There are those that started feeding their babies around 4 months (the “old” norm) being judged by those waiting until their little ones are (at least!) 6 months. And those who are making their own baby purees being lambasted by those who are doing baby-led weaning. And if you feed your baby rice/oatmeal cereal you basically just need to keep quiet because you’ll surely get a long post from someone about why rice cereal is bad for your baby. Really?!? Talk about feeding into the mommy-wars (pun intended).

In the back of our minds, holding true to our decision to try the baby led approach, we were interested to find out how Daphne might fare if given traditional baby food (purees). So, this past weekend we decided to experiment. But, we had no idea where to begin this quest. With the help of a very knowledgeable mom (of 2 little boys) in the Target baby food aisle, she helped us understand some differences and pointed us in the right direction of where to start. We headed to the check-out with our jar of sweet potatoes, jar of peaches, box of baby oatmeal and some baby spoons. We were so proud of our purchases and excited to see how Daphne would react to something other than milk.  (It also made for some great photos!)

First, we experimented with rotini-shaped pasta; you know her first food was going to be pasta, didn’t you?  :)  Daphne stared at it for a bit while it was in front of her, then picked it up - with a death grip - and proceeded to try to find her mouth. She did manage to ‘taste’ it, by licking the piece of pasta; then she waved her arms around a bit (all while maintaining that death grip). The poor rotini ended up on the floor.  But, when Adam tried another piece and held it to her mouth, she actually leaned in and went for it! Not sure that she liked it, but that’s probably because there was no sauce on it!

What is that?!?!

Maybe this isn't so bad after all

Next, we tried the jar of sweet potatoes (no, not the whole jar; just a tablespoon’s worth). Do have to mention how messy this was - for all 3 of us. Daphne allowed Rachel to put the spoon in her mouth, followed by immediately looking around as if to say “What’s going on here mom, this isn’t my milk!?” She held onto the sweet potatoes for a bit before finally swallowing some and ejecting some back out onto her bib, the high chair tray, her fingers and mommy’s arm.

Hey, what is this? Spoon?  

Making a mess sure was fun!

Finally, we tried baby oatmeal. The result was similar to the sweet potatoes, only the ejected oatmeal happened at a slower pace. Maybe she liked the oatmeal better?

Not this spoon thingy again.

Daphne had a great time!

Daphne - Five Months Old

Here are the current stats:

Feeding: Daphne's eating habits are right on track.  She definitely lets us know when she's hungry and when she's had enough!

Weight: 
Four Months:  Official Weigh-in of 10lbs, 14ozs!  Yay, she's officially doubled her weight and right where the pediatrician said she should be.

Five Months:  11lbs, 10ozs...courtesy of our non-emergency doctor visit this past week.

Length:  
Four Months: 22 5/8 inches long

Five Months: We don’t have another pediatrician appointment until 6 months, but we can tell she’s growing just fine.

Diaper Size:

Size 2 it is...as of the time/date of this blog post.  She does love her cloth diapers - as do mommy and daddy!  She's one lucky baby never to have had a diaper rash  ::knock on wood::  We were fortunate enough to be given some gently used cloth diapers (no, it's not as gross you think it would be) that started us out on our cloth diaper journey.  We aren't able to cloth diaper full time, because of daycare. We have, however, taken a pledge to change 3 cloth diapers a day. Now, we know that some days it may only be one; but others (like on the weekends) it could be more. That is over 1000 disposable diapers that we are saving from the landfills...and that makes us feel good!

Speaking of diapers, since some of you have asked about the cloth diapers....a little info:

Here is probably what you had envisioned; HUGE pins,
along with having to 'dunk' poo in the toilet and/or pay for a diaper service.

These are the cloth diapers we have chosen to use. They are super easy and super cute!
They do not require dunking or a diaper service. 

Clothing Size:

Daphne is wearing all different sizes - we found this all by trial and error.

Carters Brand - she is wearing 3 months; but only if it is actual Carters Brand. If it is 'Just One You' by Carters she is in 3 months. If it is 'Child 'O Mine' it is 3-6 months.

Gerber Brand - she is wearing 6-9 months

Oh, let the headaches regarding clothes shopping begin now!  

Hair Color:

Four Months: fluctuates between dark brown and a shade lighter

Five Months:  it has definitely thinned out on the sides, but it is still brown; there is actually enough hair on the top for a barrette to stay clipped in. But only if Daphne will allow it; she's just now starting to wear some headbands and not be 100% annoyed with them.

Eye color:

Four Months:  blue, still holding on
Five Months: yep, still blue


Daphne had her first fever AND her first cough/cold. Which made for very tired parents.  :)  Being our first time dealing with this we had no idea what to expect. Her pediatrician's office states not to call them unless the fever is 102.5 and she's had it for 24 hours. So, when her temps started to creep up from 101.2, then 101.7, then 102...we waited, monitored, delivered the correct amount of liquid Tylenol at its appropriate intervals and hoped that her temps wouldn't go past the 102.5 mark. Well, her temps reached 102.5; so, after only a couple of hours (because, let's face it - there was really no way we were going to wait the full 24 hours; do any first time parents wait the FULL 24 hours!?) we decided to call the after-hours care line for the pediatrician's office so that we could make doubly sure that she was OK. And, she was just fine.  As for her cough/cold...basically we were told that there is nothing to do for babies when they have a cold.  They just need to ride it out. Which means we've gone through a ton of tissues and used that bulb syringe thingy way too much in the last 2 weeks.


Daphne likes to laugh a lot – she’ll giggle and laugh if she thinks you’re going to kiss her on the cheek or her neck. She laughs if you sneeze (or cough). She smiles all the time, too...even at random folks.


Daphne loves music and singing.  Unfortunately, I (Rachel) am not the best singer, but I like music a lot. Oh, and if I don't know (or remember) the words, yes...I make up my own. I sing to Daphne, and she doesn’t seem to mind that I’m not very good at it.  I've found out that she likes when mommy sings:

   1. Pat-a-cake, Pat-a-cake - because when I sing it we aren't baking a cake...we are making a Pizza Pie!  

          (Emphasis and some over-exaggerated pronounciation on the P's. 

   2. Frere Jacques (Are you sleeping, Brother John).

   3.  And just about anything else that is playing on the radio - especially the Classic Rock station! 

We know you cannot hear what was happening when we snapped this photo;she was cooing and preparing her voice for some screeching.

Ah, yes, she found her hand/finger and it naturallyfound its way into her mouth; as does pretty much everything!

Daphne has started scooting whenever we try to sit her up on the couch.Which is why she looks like she is half laying down, half sitting up.

Pre-Memorial Day Weekend Chatter

Many Americans mistakenly believe that Veterans Day is the day America sets aside to honor American military personnel who died in battle or as a result of wounds sustained from combat.

That's not quite true.  Memorial Day is the day set aside to honor America's fallen heroes.

Not long ago, a video circulated around the web that sat heavily with me (Rachel).

It was shot at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier, and showed the guard breaking his regular ritualized sentry to yell a warning to the crowd after a few spectators started laughing...yes, laughing!

Tomb of the Unknown Soldier Video

This tribute has been conducted 24/7 since 1937, in any kind of weather, without fail, reflecting the appropriate honor due those who make the ultimate sacrifice.  A soldier seeking the honor of serving as a sentinel at the Tomb must possess exemplary qualities, to include American citizenship, a spotless record, and impeccable military bearing.  Basically, these sentinels set the military standard.  I had the distinct pleasure of attending a military leadership training course (for 4 weeks) with a soldier from the Old Guard Unit...cannot say enough good things about him.

While on duty the sentinel crosses a 63-foot rubber surfaced walkway in exactly 21 steps. He then faces the Tomb for 21 seconds, turns again, and pauses an additional 21 seconds before retracing his steps. The 21 is symbolic of the highest salute according to dignitaries in military and state ceremonies.

As a gesture against intrusion on their post, the sentinel always bears his weapon away from the Tomb.  Only under exceptional circumstances may the guard speak or alter his silent, measured tour of duty. He will issue a warning if anyone attempts to enter the restricted area around the Tomb, but first will halt and bring his rifle to port arms.  “It is requested that everyone maintains a level of silence, and respect!”

I find it surprising that such a lack of respect could have ever taken place.  As a veteran, it honestly brings me to tears.


On this Memorial Day, there is a motto that sums it up -- All gave some, some gave all. 
Meaning all of our military personnel gave some piece(s) of themselves while serving our country...but some gave it all - their life, the ultimate sacrifice.  That is what we honor, the service and sacrifices made by our men and women in uniform.

Happy Mother's Day! (by Rachel)

NOW I KNOW

I remember my mom telling me I wouldn't fully understand a mother's love until I had children. Now I get it. As I approach my first Mother's Day, I realize I don't need flowers or extravagant gifts, I have the best gift in my arms every day.

SO BLESSED

I had to survive a whole bunch of Mother’s Days when I wasn’t. I came to dread it after a while. Sitting in church, saying a Mother's Day prayer over all the mothers in attendance - I would always think about how great it would be if next year would be my year to celebrate Mother's Day. 

This year when the priest asks all of the mothers to stand up, I will get to...but I will also remember the moms who are still waiting; some for their miracle, some for a phone call, some for the proper paperwork. And this year I will remember the ones who don’t know if they should stand, simply because their children are no longer with them or never got to be. The ones who have lost. They are mothers too.

GROWING CLOSER

I am eternally grateful to our daughter's birth mother, but wish we had never needed her. We are reminded of the gains and the losses in each of our lives. That makes ours a loaded relationship, a complex connection. I'd like her to be interested in Daphne's life and happy with her own; involved, but not possessed or possessive.  I need Daphne's birth mother to help me paint a complete picture of who she is and where she came from. There are questions only she can answer, commonalities only she can offer.  I can't custom order a birth mother any more than I can a baby, but if I could, the relationship would be like a favorite aunt.

Every time we send pictures to Daphne's birth mother, we have a choice: How much information do we update her with? Every glorious detail or just the monthly milestones?  What type of photographs should we send? Should they be close-ups or full-body shots? Perfectly crisp or acceptably fuzzy? Gleefully happy or just contented? Irresistibly adorable or just sweet? Family photos or just Daphne herself?

On the Saturday before Mother's Day, it is a day that has been designated as Birth Mother's Day.  I'm guessing that unless adoption has blessed your life somehow you probably would have never known that -- me either.  So, on this Birth Mother's Day we honor all the wonderful birth moms who created the most beautiful children in the world. We celebrate their love for these amazing children, along with their sacrifice and selfless act in finding them a forever family.  It is because of Daphne's birth mother that we have received the most precious gift in the world and realized our dreams of having a family. Thank you doesn’t even seem to cover it.   

In her short four months, Daphne has served as a ray of sunshine in our lives...we are so glad she's here and I will forever be happy that I am now part of Mother's Day.

Happy Mother's Day to you!

--Love, Rachel